Archives for September 2012

Grief Defined

“Grief is the agonizing space of disharmony, disequilibrium and discomfort between what we want from life and what we ultimately get.” – John E. Welshons,
Awakening From Grief: Finding the Way Back to Joy

For me, this quote captures the essence of grief ~ the “broad brush idea” that grief is a chasm between what we want and what we experience. Grief is the normal, natural and innate response to disappointment and loss. Everyone grieves.

Mourning is expressing and sharing our grief with others. Not everyone feels comfortable, or is encouraged to, speak openly about ~ or mourn ~ the death of a loved one. Mourning is the path to healing.

Mourning is the path to regaining a sense of well-being. Find a way to share your grief with others.


Grief Support

“When we experience grief, we want someone else to help us because we feel that we can’t do anything on our own. We hope maybe someone else can. We cry out in pain for someone to do it for us. Our thoughts revolve around how much we hurt, what we have lost, and whether we can get anyone to help us.”
– Hale Dwoskin, The Sedona Method: Your Key to Lasting Happiness, Success, Peace and Emotional Well-being

Well-meaning friends and family often say, “Let me know what I can do to help”. It can be difficult for grievers to know what they need ~ much less to know what to ask for. If you are fortunate to have friends or family members who are naturally supportive companions, think about what would really be helpful … and ask for it.

It is possible that no one in your circle of friends or family constellation is able to provide the kind of support you need; in that case, seek out the support of a professional through The Therapy Directory at the Psychology Today Website: or visit to find a Grief Recovery Specialist in your area.



Life After Loss

Introducing the new Website for Grief Recovery Specialist and Life After Loss™ Coach,
Lynne Staley ~

Lynne writes:

July 2012 marked the 10th anniversary of my training to facilitate
The Grief Recovery Method™ Outreach Program to support people who are navigating life after loss. Perhaps there is something in my ten years of experience that will help you to reconcile the pain you’ve experienced from a recent or long-ago loss experience.

Here’s my backstory: In 1999, a dear friend of mine died unexpectedly and I was stunned by my deep, emotional reaction to her death. In the year that followed, I took on a creative project marrying my hobby of collecting quotes with the idea of paying tribute; the outcome was a hardcover book designed to collect written reflections about someone precious who died.

In Death Is the Secret to Life: A Tribute Journal
, published in 2000, honors the memory of my friend.

Surprised by the lack of resources readily available to grievers (or, perhaps resources that spoke to me), I became a student of the subject of grief and loss. One of the books I discovered was The Grief Recovery Handbook. Impressed by the book’s simplicity and common sense curriculum, I contacted The Grief Recovery Institute, Sherman Oaks, California, about their certification program. As a companion to grievers since my training in 2002, I am a guide to individuals and groups using The Grief Recovery Method™ curriculum. I also speak to parents, educators and other support professionals to help them prepare for and navigate the loss events that are inevitable in our lives.

There are so many supportive resources ~ in print and on the Internet ~ and I will share selections through this online journal that I think might be useful as you create your life after loss.

Blessings ~