Healing Grief, Finding Peace

“… monitoring the types of thought patterns you allow to dominate your daily inner monologue will either enhance or destroy your efforts to face difficult changes. Influence the unconscious by always communicating with it through the use of the powerful ‘I am,’ as in:

I am determined to persist.
I am doing difficult tasks every day without fail.
I am a committed and powerful human being.
I am making it.
I am good.
I am divinely guided and assisted.
I am getting it done.

Use whatever words are authoritative for you; they are powerful ways to dispel fear.”

Dr. Louis E. LaGrand, Healing Grief, Finding Peace: 101 Ways to Cope with the Death of Your Loved One

To read more about the work of Dr. LaGrand, visit www.extraordinarygriefexperiences.com

Grief Defined

“Grief is the constellation of internal thoughts and feelings when someone we love dies. Think of grief as the container. It holds all of your thoughts feelings, and images of your experience when you are bereaved. Grief is the internal meaning given to the experience of loss.”
– Alan Wolfelt, PhD, Understanding Your Grief

Visit amazon for a list of more than 20 books written by Dr. Wolfelt. Visit his Website to learn about his work at Center for Loss in Fort Collins, Colorado.

Some Friends Know How to Show Up …

“We found that our circle of friends shifted … We were surprised and disappointed that people we thought were good friends became distant, uneasy, and seemed unable to help us. Others who were casual acquaintances became suddenly close, sustainers of life for us. Grief changes the rules, and sometimes rearranges the combinations.”
– Martha Whitmore Hickman, Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief

I have heard from many clients that friends and family often don’t know how to show up in their lives after a loss experience. It is often true that the griever becomes the model for how to do just that with friends and family; they show up in ways they were met with compassion or in ways they WISH they had been supported.

This little book has an entry for each day of the year. A quote tops each page followed by a missive written by Martha Whitmore Hickman. The quotes are wonderful “prompts” for journal writing OR Ms. Hickman has authored a companion journal as a guide.

Blessings ~ Lynne

Support for a friend who is grieving

It can be difficult to know how to help a friend who is grieving. People who have experienced a death of someone precious are often the best resources for knowing what to say or do (and what NOT to say or do). Lynn Kelly wrote a book entitled “Don’t Ask for the Dead Man’s Golf Clubs: What to Do and Say When a Friend Loses a Loved One”. It’s out of print so check your public library or find the link on amazon that will point you to a copy via a used book source.

Art is the set of wings …

“Art is the set of wings to carry you out of your own entanglement.”

– Joseph Campbell, Reflections on the Art of Living: A Joseph Campbell Companion