“In this greatest of all adventures, you cannot ever be less than you really are: limitless, forever, and totally awesome. But you can think that you are less than you really are.
Don’t!!”
– Mike Dooley,
Choose Them Wisely: Thoughts Become Things
Examine Your Thoughts
October 23, 2012 By Leave a Comment
Who Shows Up?
October 22, 2012 By Leave a Comment
“Some of the friends I thought would be of comfort weren’t and those relationships slowly faded away. Meanwhile, other relationships strengthened amid the turmoil …”
– Marie Tillman,
The Letter: My Journey Through Love, Loss & Life
Painful Emotion
October 19, 2012 By Leave a Comment
“Our task is not to avoid painful emotion, but rather to transform it at its roots. And that we cannot do if we don’t go through the emotion authentically. Sadness has to be experienced in order to be transcended. No situation can be transformed until it is accepted as it is.”
– Marianne Williamson, Everyday Grace: Having Hope, Finding Forgiveness, and Making Miracles
Broken Open
October 18, 2012 By Leave a Comment
“The place of hopelessness and fear is real, not a cute little allegory. Some people never leave that place and are broken on the rocks. Some people stop fighting and slip into the depths. We come to understand that, although we do not have control, we do have a choice. We are free. We are made so and it is our great gift. We can choose darkness, fear, addiction and despair. We can choose light, hope, meaning and joy. … I chose life. I chose to find a way back up.” – Glen quoted in Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow by Elizabeth Lesser
The Joy Diet
October 17, 2012 By Leave a Comment
“… true and false desires ‘taste’ completely different. … false desires taste of fear; true desires always taste of love. The emotions that underlie your wants, the logic you use to defend them, your goals in obtaining them, and the results you’ll get from them are all redolent of these two different categories of emotion.” – Martha Beck,
The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life
Forgiveness
October 15, 2012 By Leave a Comment
“Sometimes forgiveness is perceived as being soft on the perpetrator.
… forgiveness is not about letting anyone off the hook or excusing someone else’s responsibility in an action, or forgetting the offense. It is about the freedom that follows for the forgiver when resentment, regret and anger are cast off.”
– Victoria Ruvolo, Robert Goldman, JD, PsyD as told to Lisa Pulitzer, No Room For Vengeance: In Justice and Healing
Sometimes there is unfinished business; someone dies before a situation is rectified or reconciled. A rift or estrangement can add to the weight of grief and exacerbate the pain of a loss. Authentically feeling and acknowledging the pain is crucial. And then what?
Forgiveness is a choice. It involves saying “I’m done” to an imperfect past. Forgiveness frees the person doing the forgiving.
Lynne
Pet Loss and Grief Expression
October 5, 2012 By Leave a Comment
Author Allen Shawn recalled the tears and sadness that seemed over-the-top after the loss of a pet.
“I guess this just confirms, once again, that emotions are essentially physical forces, and, if they seem to express themselves at the strangest moments, it is because, like physical forces, they must sooner or later emerge and will eventually succeed in finding a vulnerable link in the chain of your defenses. If the floodtide is dammed up it will break into a million little rivulets, each seeking egress, and once an opening is found, all the waters will pour through it.”
– Allen Shawn, Twin: A Memoir
He realized that loss experiences are linked and cumulative.
We don’t learn to reconcile disappointment and loss in the moment so we learn to carry it with us. We get used to the weight of it …
Learn more about reconciling loss experiences by visiting www.griefrecoverymethod.com On this site, find out if there’s a Grief Recovery Specialist in your area. The Grief Recovery Method Outreach Program is a tried and true program established more than 30 years ago.
Warm regards,
Lynne
Grief Defined
September 28, 2012 By Leave a Comment
“Grief is the agonizing space of disharmony, disequilibrium and discomfort between what we want from life and what we ultimately get.” – John E. Welshons,
Awakening From Grief: Finding the Way Back to Joy
For me, this quote captures the essence of grief ~ the “broad brush idea” that grief is a chasm between what we want and what we experience. Grief is the normal, natural and innate response to disappointment and loss. Everyone grieves.
Mourning is expressing and sharing our grief with others. Not everyone feels comfortable, or is encouraged to, speak openly about ~ or mourn ~ the death of a loved one. Mourning is the path to healing.
Mourning is the path to regaining a sense of well-being. Find a way to share your grief with others.
Best,
Lynne
Grief Support
September 27, 2012 By Leave a Comment
“When we experience grief, we want someone else to help us because we feel that we can’t do anything on our own. We hope maybe someone else can. We cry out in pain for someone to do it for us. Our thoughts revolve around how much we hurt, what we have lost, and whether we can get anyone to help us.”
– Hale Dwoskin, The Sedona Method: Your Key to Lasting Happiness, Success, Peace and Emotional Well-being
Well-meaning friends and family often say, “Let me know what I can do to help”. It can be difficult for grievers to know what they need ~ much less to know what to ask for. If you are fortunate to have friends or family members who are naturally supportive companions, think about what would really be helpful … and ask for it.
It is possible that no one in your circle of friends or family constellation is able to provide the kind of support you need; in that case, seek out the support of a professional through The Therapy Directory at the Psychology Today Website: www.therapists.psychologytoday.com or visit www.griefrecoverymethod.com to find a Grief Recovery Specialist in your area.
Best,
Lynne
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