For Grief
When you lose someone you love,
Your life becomes strange,
The ground beneath you gets fragile,
Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;
And some dead echo drags your voice down
Where words have no confidence.
Your heart has grown heavy with loss;
And though this loss has wounded others too,
No one knows what has been taken from you
When the silence of absence deepens.
Flickers of guilt kindle regret
For all that was left unsaid or undone.
There are days when you wake up happy;
Again inside the fullness of life,
Until the moment breaks
And you are thrown back
Onto that black tide of loss.
Days when you have your heart back,
You are able to function well
Until in the middle of work or encounter,
Suddenly with no warning,
You are ambushed by grief.
It becomes hard to trust yourself.
All you can depend on now is that
Sorrow will remain faithful to itself.
More than you, it knows its way
And will find the right time
To pull and pull the rope of grief
Until that coiled hill of tears
Has reduced to its last drop.
Gradually, you will learn acquaintance
With the invisible form of your departed,
And when the work of grief is done,
The wound of loss will heal
And you will have learned
To wean your eyes
From that gap in the air
And be able to enter the hearth
In your soul where your loved one
Has awaited your return
All the time.
From
To Bless the Space Between Us:
A Book of Blessings
By John O’Donohue
This poem helps me in different ways, on different days.
John’s description of grief captures the insecurity it brings and the hitch I feel in my voice when I attempt to speak. “Suddenly. ..you are ambushed by grief.” I do believe that “Sorrow will remain faithful to itself. More than you, it knows it’s way.”
I have faith in John’s ending, “You will be able to enter the hearth in your soul where your loved one has awaited your return all the time.” ( But, I’m not there yet.)
Kate, thank you for your thoughtful, self-reflective comments. Two more John O’Donohue Blessings come to mind that you may relate to: For Courage as well as For the Traveler. They can be found in his book To Bless the Space Between Us.
If you are interested in more resources related to grief and loss, please visit my FBk page at: http://www.facebook.com/lifeafterlosscoach There, I share articles, quotes, book recommendations, etc. to support those who are navigating life ~ after loss.
Blessings on your journey ~ Lynne
Thank you, Lynne for your response. I just saw it today. I do have John’s To Bless the Space Between Us and have referred to it as need arises. Thank you for steering me to For Courage. It did resonate with me.
For the Traveler, not as much, but on another day, in another framework, perhaps it will.
I will visit your FB page and thank you for that.
It is a journey we take after loss. Right now I find myself wanting time to stand still. Soon it will be a month since my husband died and I find myself holding on to time – which is impossible. I don’t want the “space” to grow wider and feel somehow, as times progresses, so does the loss of connection. I know these are emotional thoughts, not based in truth. I will wrap my head and heart around the concept of time eventually. And, I do believe someday I will have my husband’s spirit tucked safely in my heart, never to leave again.
The good news is that time is like a beach ball in heaven. Time does not create distance not is it linear there.