“Feelings are the primary feedback mechanism for the human being. Feelings come from within. No one can make you feel angry, sad, afraid, or anything else; others however, can certainly trigger the cause of the feelings you hold. … the cause of pain is internal.” – Dr. Michael Ryce, Why Is This Happening to Me … Again?!?!

Feelings are our emotional guidance system. They point us to what is out of harmony in our lives and what needs tending.

For more on “Why is this happening to me, again?!?!, visit www.whyagain.org

Blessings, Lynne

“Do not judge the journey by the path you’re now on.”
– Mike Dooley, Choose Them Wisely: Thoughts Become Things!

Take stock of where you are on the “path”; on the road of your grief journey. It can be difficult to place your next step if you don’t know just where you stand. Be honest about your loss experience. What are the obstacles in the way? If they are clear-cut, can you take a step? If an impediment is complicated, can you break it down or ask for help?

Best,

Lynne

To help schools support grieving students, the National Association of School Psychologists (NASP) compiled a list of common responses to grief that include emotional (for example: anger, sadness, anxiety, guilt, relief), cognitive (for example: distraction, attention span, decline in performance, memory problems), physical (for example: illness, sleep disturbance, crying and sighing, eating disturbance, heaviness), and social (for example: changes in personality, changes in relationships, withdrawal, acting out, aggression, regression) grief reactions.

The intensity and persistence of all grief reactions should be monitored. Professional support might be indicated if severe reactions are noted.

Though there are common responses after a loss experience, it is important to note that relationships are unique and responses will be as distinctive as the bond between two people.

Resource link: www.nasponline.org

Best,
Lynne

Dr. Alan Wolfelt, Director of the Center for Loss & Life Transition, Fort Collins, Colorado, composed a Mourner’s Code:

1. You have the right to experience your own unique grief.
2. You have a right to talk about your grief.
3. You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions.
4. You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits.
5. You have the right to experience “griefbursts”.
6. You have the right to make use of ritual.
7. You have the right to embrace your spirituality.
8. You have the right to search for meaning.
9. You have the right to treasure your memories.
10. You have the right to move toward your grief and heal.

Dr. Wolfelt encourages people who are grieving the death of someone special to be active participants in their mourning. His book Understanding Your Grief: Exploring the Ten Essential Touchstones has a companion Journal as well as a Support Group Guide.

For a complete list of Dr. Wolfelt’s books, visit www.amazon.com or www.centerforloss.com

Best,
Lynne