“In this greatest of all adventures, you cannot ever be less than you really are: limitless, forever, and totally awesome. But you can think that you are less than you really are.
Don’t!!”
– Mike Dooley,
Choose Them Wisely: Thoughts Become Things
Examine Your Thoughts
October 23, 2012 By Leave a Comment
Who Shows Up?
October 22, 2012 By Leave a Comment
“Some of the friends I thought would be of comfort weren’t and those relationships slowly faded away. Meanwhile, other relationships strengthened amid the turmoil …”
– Marie Tillman,
The Letter: My Journey Through Love, Loss & Life
Painful Emotion
October 19, 2012 By Leave a Comment
“Our task is not to avoid painful emotion, but rather to transform it at its roots. And that we cannot do if we don’t go through the emotion authentically. Sadness has to be experienced in order to be transcended. No situation can be transformed until it is accepted as it is.”
– Marianne Williamson, Everyday Grace: Having Hope, Finding Forgiveness, and Making Miracles
Broken Open
October 18, 2012 By Leave a Comment
“The place of hopelessness and fear is real, not a cute little allegory. Some people never leave that place and are broken on the rocks. Some people stop fighting and slip into the depths. We come to understand that, although we do not have control, we do have a choice. We are free. We are made so and it is our great gift. We can choose darkness, fear, addiction and despair. We can choose light, hope, meaning and joy. … I chose life. I chose to find a way back up.” – Glen quoted in Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow by Elizabeth Lesser
The Joy Diet
October 17, 2012 By Leave a Comment
“… true and false desires ‘taste’ completely different. … false desires taste of fear; true desires always taste of love. The emotions that underlie your wants, the logic you use to defend them, your goals in obtaining them, and the results you’ll get from them are all redolent of these two different categories of emotion.” – Martha Beck,
The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life
Forgiveness
October 15, 2012 By Leave a Comment
“Sometimes forgiveness is perceived as being soft on the perpetrator.
… forgiveness is not about letting anyone off the hook or excusing someone else’s responsibility in an action, or forgetting the offense. It is about the freedom that follows for the forgiver when resentment, regret and anger are cast off.”
– Victoria Ruvolo, Robert Goldman, JD, PsyD as told to Lisa Pulitzer, No Room For Vengeance: In Justice and Healing
Sometimes there is unfinished business; someone dies before a situation is rectified or reconciled. A rift or estrangement can add to the weight of grief and exacerbate the pain of a loss. Authentically feeling and acknowledging the pain is crucial. And then what?
Forgiveness is a choice. It involves saying “I’m done” to an imperfect past. Forgiveness frees the person doing the forgiving.
Lynne
Faith and Feelings Coexist
October 11, 2012 By Leave a Comment
Grievers who have a faith background sometimes find themselves feeling conflicted about their emotions. They argue that they shouldn’t experience strong, negative reactions if they believe ~ that he’s in a “better place”; she’s “no longer suffering”.
“The opposite of faith is not doubt, but certainty. Certainty is missing the point entirely. Faith includes noticing the mess, the emptiness and discomfort, and letting it be there until some light returns. Faith also means reaching deeply within, for the sense one was born with; the sense for example, to go for a walk.”
– Anne Lamott, Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith
Faith and feelings can co-exist.
Best,
Lynne
Legacy After Loss
October 10, 2012 By Leave a Comment
We want the lives of our loved ones to matter. We want people to know that there was meaning and purpose in the life of someone who died. There are times when something positive comes of tragedy; sometimes we make sure that a legacy is sustained in their absence.
“Dale was gone, but his influence was not. As big as Dale had been in life – and he had been very big indeed – he had become even bigger in death. His memory was everywhere, and the tragedy of his passing had forced virtually everyone in the racing world to change. Not all of those changes had been welcomed, but they had worked together for good. Our lives and our sport had improved and in some mysterious way Dale Earnhardt had been responsible.”
– Darrell Waltrip with Nate Larkin, Sundays Will Never Be the Same
What have you written, created or done in honor of someone precious who has died?
Best,
Lynne
Grievers Fight Illness
October 9, 2012 By Leave a Comment
It is common for Grievers to experience a diminished immune system so, as simple as it sounds, take good care is an appropriate admonition.
The 10 Commandments of Health
By Dr. George W. Calver
Eat wisely
Drink (water) plentifully
Eliminate thoroughly
Bathe cleanly
Exercise rationally
Accept inevitables
Play enthusiastically
Relax completely
Sleep sufficiently
Check up occasionally
Dr. Calver, the first doctor appointed to counsel senators and representatives of the U.S. Congress, prepared this list. He placed it on a wallet card along with this: “Give 5% of your time to keeping well. You won’t have to give 100% getting over being sick.”
Take good care ~ Lynne
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